I stole this off one of my FaceBook "friends" I thought it was pretty good and maybe useful for some of my newly married friends and family.
Are You Ready for Children?
Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego's. (If Lego's are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a child at night.) (Having raised Grant-my feet have Lego's scars. The do not scream part is the most important)
Grocery Store Test: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage. (This one is not necessary, you can always pretend they are some one else's goats and make loud comments about them.)
Dressing Test: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside. (Grant taught me the value of dressing the boy, I mean octopus first and then waking him up. Yes, I really did this with him)
Feeding Test: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor. (I would fill the jug half full with orange juice or milk, whichever is more expensive-also smear your shirt with applesauce)
Night Test: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 - 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
Physical Test (Women): Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.
Physical Test (Men): Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
Final Assignment: Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
Carrie and Ryan came to visit this week.
Sabbath was spent visiting friends in Salisbury and walking at Dan Nicholas Park.
Our friends the Klavers and their newest grandbaby.
Carrie and Destiny, Carrie and I used to babysit her when she was very little.
Grant playing with kittens while waiting to go to church.
Maggie at the top to the freshly painted stairs.
Grant golfing.
Thursday was spent golfing out at Tanglewood.
This is what Ryan and Carrie sent me for Mother's Day.
Carrie used her considerable artistic talent to paint this for me.
Gregg loves flowers, these are some tiger lillies he transplanted from somewhere. They look great this year and we hope they continue to spread.
I have never seen Lillies this color.
We had a small group at family reunion this year.
I love tulips and my meezers.
Chloe is a real poser.
Sheba
Maggie has a whole basketful of toys. This is her "baby" her favorite bear. She carries it all over and would be happy to share it with you if you don't try to take it from her. She's not allowed to take it outside and doesn't mean to try, she just forgets its in her mouth.
This is my favorite new toy. We took advantage of the economic down turn at Circuit City and got a pretty good deal. I think my background pic is as pretty cool too, so to speak.
We woke up this a.m. to very little heat so right now this is keeping us toasty. I'm glad to have a fireplace, you never know when you need it. The kitties are quite entertained with it. It is pretty cold here. I believe the temp got up above 32 today so its a little chilly. The furnace doesn't seem to be entirely dead so the house isn't freezing, hopefully we can get the furnace doctor out here to have a look at her soon. Maybe she just needs converted-clear!
We got up early today due to Grant's leaving for school at 9 a.m.. We spent the day taking down Christmas decorations and cleaning. I caught Skye "helping", she just climbed into this ring of berries and branches and she just looked so pleased with herself.
